[realize] i am no longer in a [sundrenched world]

dinner with a close friend that night. a little follow-up on how we were doing in life, and it was great. i love bjs, and i love my friend joey! it was going well, then he asked that one question, and then it made me think twice, and then i had to give the answer, and then i was a little surprised, and then i felt ok with it, but i think i was more scared about it than anything. ::resound in my mind::

yoga time. awesome flow. good music, of course. i heard my favorite guitarist sing. i got to smile and enjoy myself, i got to do it on my own, and listen to the rain fall on the roof really loudly. and then it happened. upside down plank. head back, toes curled down, eyes looking up, and BAM. in my face. oh. my. ...um, maybe it's worn for the same reason i wear mine? it twinkled right in my eye. hmm...looks like an interview needs to take place soon.

WeHo with gpark. pitter patter went the rain, excitement went my insides when i found out it would be fun target day in west hollywood. a genre of its own...bam! bam! smack that ice cream down into the ice pan! ooohhhh! i loved it, and it grew on her. yay!

church time. thank you parking man and Jesus. the music lifted my spirits, my heart was dancing with joy, but i realized, i have a lot of work to do...it's a problem. i can't do it. i have to though. breathe. i have no more energy left. is that a bad thing? or does that mean my energy has run dry for this? how much do i still really care? i'm timid. i'm scared. i need boldness. dear God, make me bold. make me better.

i don't have the answers.

joshua radin, thank you for your music and for your lyrics which make me say aloud, "josh, you are the man." listen to him and you'll understand. me.

tonight ended wonderfully. i was gonna bail on my friend nicholas. i took it back after one text. apparently that's all it takes for me to change my mind. [thanks again for that one. ;) ] ::do you wanna make cupcakes tonight?:: i said, oh my gosh! i would love it! a trip to ralphs, a house of friends, hangin out with wolfman, and some banana breadmaking later....my night was fulfilled.

and thirty thoughts later, it is time for me to get to bed. helllloooooo monday!

pick up the pieces from your past, but there's nothing more to gather. walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow. walk away from aguish, walk into the rain.