don't expect anything else.

and then you find out who your friends are. you made a good decision. and then you find out that you didn't make a mistake, but that people change. trust your instincts. and then you find out that you are disgusted, want to vomit, and find yourself in the company of nail polish and acetone. professional still.

and then you realize, you are sad. not for yourself. sad story. broken heart. good thing. good good thing. and then you move on. then you realize los angeles was the best move ever. and then you realize, maybe los angeles is not far enough from all things familiar. but gina will have to come too.

boy meets girl//boy and girl go on a date//...best to keep it at that. getting to step two always seems to be the goal. it should be. and then end it right there. right before anything gets too complicated. otherwise, a session with a good friend will have to take place. get rid of it all.

unload the back trunk, and have a paper party. it's all out. release it all. the truth shall set you free. vomit all over me, and it's fine. already happened. disbelief. could not believe it. what's done is done. feeling like a fool. [don't give up on me. please, don't give up on me.] of course, i wouldn't do that. but then, deceit happens, then you [i] are [become] a [the] fool. heart as big as ever. forgiveness, that's a good thing. it will come. it's personal. lie in bed, replay it all.

dsvnasj;drthwa0eipsdvnaskorth0[wepjfaesk;fawoeriuptridkfsn[oaw in that order. no words for expression. just that.

i just can't believe it. disappointment overcomes me. blameless. not perfect am i. self aware i am though. very aware. ugh. headache happens. tears? is that what comes next? drip, drip drop.