...she comes home tomorrow, and i am SO excited!
...i want to ride my bike.
...people do stupid things when they are lonely. people do stupid things because they are lonely.
...deal with it.
...i love updates.
...i love frosted cookies.
...it's time to have some fun around here.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
como se dice...
i'm taking advantage of the free internet i've discovered here in the motherland. the ritz is in for a little surprise.
it's a very strange feeling. walking the streets of sunset or even santa monica, i don't quite feel like i fit in 100%. the black hair, the round face, the eyes. and here i am in the middle of korea where i should blend in without a doubt...but it's still not quite there. my outfit, my dark(er) skin, my broken speech. it's a weird realization. we really do all look the same, but i still stick out like a sore thumb. and they've stared to make me acknowledge it. a minor identity crisis.
shop. eat. meet family that i didn't know i had. shop. eat. eat. eat. shop. family. eat.
while sitting next to a *cute boy on the subway, i had a thought...
i wonder what would happen if i just reached over and put my arm around his back.
"yo. how U doin?" HAHA.
who thinks like that?! apparently i do. like a boy. no shame & the wanting to just go for it. but i laughed to myself thinking about what crys would have said if she were there with me. DO IT. haha. BACK IT UP. sounds familiar? but the thought was more amusing than anything else. don't worry...i would have never done it.
I MISS CRYS. your emails are much appreciated :)
Sunday, May 25, 2008
it's a not so bad trend.
well, well, well. back in the OC after a long week. my first real week at work in my new position and i feel that it's starting to click. thank God. it's about time. i did a little better this week. time to get better. it's already sunday and i'm already tired, and not ready to go back to work. thank God for no work tomorrow! yippee for 4 day weeks!
i love weekends. it was like being in good company - with lots of food, dancing, and good music. for sure. the best combination. and then there was the late night pit stop. and then there was the morning walk of shame. minus the shame. impeccable timing JD - her text message was greeted with a recap of events. woke up to a clean car in the am. yay i love when it rains and it washes my car! ghetto at its finest. drive home deliriously to orange county and pump it up. bounce in a bounce house and drive around orange county for a bit. sports authority, apparently that's where it's at. for a little while. ;)
i went to the airport last night to pick up my cousin. it was his first time in the states. considering the first time i met him was at my grandma's funeral in the philippines about a month ago, it was awesome. i think i was more distracted, however, by the reuniting moments i observed that night. there was this one couple that i was sooo watching the entire time. it was the cutest thing ever. he had clearly come back..i think from mexico. she greeted him with a rose, and they would NOT let go of each other. it was the cutest thing. right out of a movie. you could tell how happy they were to be together, they would probably do it later on, not so later after, and they were touching each other's face, being like, wow, this is for real. it was the most awesomest thing ever. probably because i haven't personally had that experience lately, and so i was able to enjoy being a spectator in that moment. anyway, i loved it. and then...my mom and i got in a fight. but what's new? :)
thennn i woke up...and we rode 32 miles today...all the way down to san onofre. ah-may-zing. i'm starting to love cycling more and more. no more need to hit the brakes when i'm going down a hill. there's no time for that. it's way too fun just cruising down and keeping the momentum for the uphill. i loved it. so freeing, the red thunderbolt has arrived. YES. i said it.
in the past twenty minutes, i just received confirmation that i'm ok. that my decisions are not that bad, and that i'm pretty awesome. i love it. now, gina p needs to come back so that i can fill her in on my life. one more week!
i love weekends. it was like being in good company - with lots of food, dancing, and good music. for sure. the best combination. and then there was the late night pit stop. and then there was the morning walk of shame. minus the shame. impeccable timing JD - her text message was greeted with a recap of events. woke up to a clean car in the am. yay i love when it rains and it washes my car! ghetto at its finest. drive home deliriously to orange county and pump it up. bounce in a bounce house and drive around orange county for a bit. sports authority, apparently that's where it's at. for a little while. ;)
i went to the airport last night to pick up my cousin. it was his first time in the states. considering the first time i met him was at my grandma's funeral in the philippines about a month ago, it was awesome. i think i was more distracted, however, by the reuniting moments i observed that night. there was this one couple that i was sooo watching the entire time. it was the cutest thing ever. he had clearly come back..i think from mexico. she greeted him with a rose, and they would NOT let go of each other. it was the cutest thing. right out of a movie. you could tell how happy they were to be together, they would probably do it later on, not so later after, and they were touching each other's face, being like, wow, this is for real. it was the most awesomest thing ever. probably because i haven't personally had that experience lately, and so i was able to enjoy being a spectator in that moment. anyway, i loved it. and then...my mom and i got in a fight. but what's new? :)
thennn i woke up...and we rode 32 miles today...all the way down to san onofre. ah-may-zing. i'm starting to love cycling more and more. no more need to hit the brakes when i'm going down a hill. there's no time for that. it's way too fun just cruising down and keeping the momentum for the uphill. i loved it. so freeing, the red thunderbolt has arrived. YES. i said it.
in the past twenty minutes, i just received confirmation that i'm ok. that my decisions are not that bad, and that i'm pretty awesome. i love it. now, gina p needs to come back so that i can fill her in on my life. one more week!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
ryan seacrest looks better every year
and with a blink of an eye, it was finally time to step away from it all. thank God. if it came any later, i might not have survived. i'm sorry for leaving you like this, CC. but like i said, i'll make it big out there and i'll send you money...and a husband. pray for me.
i've definitely pushed myself to the limit. apparently, i still haven't reached my threshold for giving up, but i feel like i'm getting very close. it's just a matter of time. and i thought...everyone has gone through it at one point or another & survived. what makes me think that i can't do the same? what is it that's holding me back? am i making it out to be something that it isnt? is the work of art nothing but a 50 cent postcard? but that's not the million dollar question. interestingly enough, it has nothing to do with you. it's all about me. why am i still here? affirmation is needed when there's nothing but contradiction. that's obvious.
i'm sure that made no sense, but it made perfect sense to me.
so i've fallen in love...
i've definitely pushed myself to the limit. apparently, i still haven't reached my threshold for giving up, but i feel like i'm getting very close. it's just a matter of time. and i thought...everyone has gone through it at one point or another & survived. what makes me think that i can't do the same? what is it that's holding me back? am i making it out to be something that it isnt? is the work of art nothing but a 50 cent postcard? but that's not the million dollar question. interestingly enough, it has nothing to do with you. it's all about me. why am i still here? affirmation is needed when there's nothing but contradiction. that's obvious.
i'm sure that made no sense, but it made perfect sense to me.
so i've fallen in love...
if you look anything like john...or go by 'uncle jesse'...call me.
before it turns 10, i'm betting all my money on david cook.
i'm off. you will be missed.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
timetoturnautopilot.....OFF.
it's what you feel after a long not even week. it's the mind racing - it's the caffeine making itself known, it's the overachiever mind status, it's the yucky feeling in your stomach, it's what brings me to my pajamas at 10pm. the recent transition at work has left me so tired, and worn out, and thank goodness for the weekend. a little too much, a little too fast, but i'm kinda sorta almost there getting the hang of it. unfortunately i think my week's worth of work coupled with the weekend of hanging out with testosterone and their desire for beer has brought me to my pajamas at 10pm. unfortunately the past few weeks have also led to a crazy schedule for myself. one that affects the times that i can talk with my friends, catch up, and fill them in. it doesnt help that they live on the east coast, 3 hours ahead. being teachers they don't exactly stay up all night. and then you get the hearing through the grapevine, and then you end up not having a peaceful time at yoga this morning. and then you think about how tired you are. and then you get sad that you can no longer office communicate as frequently with your best friend who measures dog food coupons, who sits maybe 20 steps away from you. you somehow make time for it all. your body catches up to you soon enough, and before you know it, it's memorial day weekend. i don't want to feel sick to my stomach anymore. anxiety, go away. at the end of the day, it's just coupons.
Monday, May 19, 2008
young&stupid.bold&AWESOME.say what you need to say.
it's been too long, but thank goodness for ms. genia parks tending our literary pipeline while i have been led astray, and while my thoughts have wandered elsewhere into a pool of sake and ending with a weekend recap on the couch of green pillows.
never thought a thursday night in LA would end up at social hollywood, pictures with a green backdrop, a personal photographer, a newly acquired bestie promoter, and a night of dancing and pure fun. oh wait, not too much of a shocker. it's how we roll. especially when two months pass by.
is it possible for girls to start acting like, "guys?" or does that basically just mean, the LA, HELL-A, LA LA Land bug has yet again striked again? or two times, for that matter. victim one, the cutest girl from texas. victim two, the hand in hand partner in crime of the cutest girl from texas. whatever the case, the bite was strong, but not deep. it is strong, and we like it.
expand your horizons - that's what i said. that's what i did - learned about my passions, and learned that whatever comes out of my mouth at that very moment, at that little table is clearly what's important to me. it's all part of the learning process...and served as an example, that, yes, you can trust that a friend may actually try to have your best interest at heart. whether or not success follows. whatever the case, good food, and pleasant conversation with a new friend, is quite hard to come by. success.
the weekend proved to be a flashback with the arrival of the biggest simpson fan i know, at least, that's how it was in high school. i don't do beer. but i do the other stuff. fine, i'll play this game. sit at a table, beer hockey. really? really. watch some high school musical with one of the smartest guys i know - yay for usc grad law, and get in touch yet again, with my close group of guy friends from the land of wolverines. don't drink and drive. sleep where you need to, and drift off to sleep. he could be trusted. trust. it was present. that is what friends are for. ha. kinda.
get yourself home and bask in the santa monica/brentwood sun along montana avenue and walk twenty blocks with the boy who beat you [me] for the position of asb secretary. high school friendships actually do stand for something. especially when the talk leads somewhere that you never foresaw coming. well, kinda. and a choice has to be made. and possibilities, and questions are asked, and then you leave it as it is, and go home, and nap. you're tired.
only to get ready to eat some sushi and drink some sake. i found that i am 1 in 100. 1 in 100 people are allergic to sulfites, present in most wines, and pretty much all dried fruit. congratulations, i am that one person. the misfortunes of my life, but i took the risk anyway. drink sake, and chase a little beer. what? who did that? beer is gross. until some was left, and well, we can't waste it. sapporo, for once, you were tolerable and kinda a little tasty. rice and water. sake, you were not a perpetrator that evening. thank you. dance it off and have fun. hear the beat, shake the hips. gin & tonic, not dressed to impress, but merely have a good time. something new. HA.
he got to be a boy. what does that mean? i got jealous. a little. cross the street and go with impulse. time to get into a taxi and head to the one room apartment in brentwood.
visibly, i was a good, i am a good catholic girl, athena by association, meet the stags of claremont. flashback to, whattt? flashback to, hahaha? flashback to, awesome. flashback to, i do what i want. flashback to what would gina do? flashback to, hmm. sleep to dream, and be among the good that actually uniquely exists out there.
still, there's so much more. nothing is as confusing as the uncertainty and the doubt, and the nervousness, and the anxiety, as the readiness and the willingness, as the excitedness and the hesitancy. no. not relationships. everything. in general. e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. boldness, it comes at the best times. no, nothing is serious. but everything CAN be shared with boldness. i'm 22 years old. thank goodness for that. i get by with the help of my friends. don't let the f bomb get the best of you - slow your roll. be serious. be real. know what you want - hopefully get what you want, but get what He wants. that's what it comes down to. despite it all, big ups to the receiving 90 and giving 10.
and just like that, i found myself at the studio tonight. time to detox - my body, my mind, and refresh myself once again. it's been way too long. it's all too fast. no time to rest. it's a big weekend coming up. every moment is an opportunity. i learned that i don't like beer, i don't like when intentions are poor. i do like people who respect, and people who can be honest. i don't so much enjoy high school games, but i do enjoy effort, and, playing with the big guys, and doing what i want, and being able to do what i want. and for what is coming up next.
who would have thought.
never thought a thursday night in LA would end up at social hollywood, pictures with a green backdrop, a personal photographer, a newly acquired bestie promoter, and a night of dancing and pure fun. oh wait, not too much of a shocker. it's how we roll. especially when two months pass by.
is it possible for girls to start acting like, "guys?" or does that basically just mean, the LA, HELL-A, LA LA Land bug has yet again striked again? or two times, for that matter. victim one, the cutest girl from texas. victim two, the hand in hand partner in crime of the cutest girl from texas. whatever the case, the bite was strong, but not deep. it is strong, and we like it.
expand your horizons - that's what i said. that's what i did - learned about my passions, and learned that whatever comes out of my mouth at that very moment, at that little table is clearly what's important to me. it's all part of the learning process...and served as an example, that, yes, you can trust that a friend may actually try to have your best interest at heart. whether or not success follows. whatever the case, good food, and pleasant conversation with a new friend, is quite hard to come by. success.
the weekend proved to be a flashback with the arrival of the biggest simpson fan i know, at least, that's how it was in high school. i don't do beer. but i do the other stuff. fine, i'll play this game. sit at a table, beer hockey. really? really. watch some high school musical with one of the smartest guys i know - yay for usc grad law, and get in touch yet again, with my close group of guy friends from the land of wolverines. don't drink and drive. sleep where you need to, and drift off to sleep. he could be trusted. trust. it was present. that is what friends are for. ha. kinda.
get yourself home and bask in the santa monica/brentwood sun along montana avenue and walk twenty blocks with the boy who beat you [me] for the position of asb secretary. high school friendships actually do stand for something. especially when the talk leads somewhere that you never foresaw coming. well, kinda. and a choice has to be made. and possibilities, and questions are asked, and then you leave it as it is, and go home, and nap. you're tired.
only to get ready to eat some sushi and drink some sake. i found that i am 1 in 100. 1 in 100 people are allergic to sulfites, present in most wines, and pretty much all dried fruit. congratulations, i am that one person. the misfortunes of my life, but i took the risk anyway. drink sake, and chase a little beer. what? who did that? beer is gross. until some was left, and well, we can't waste it. sapporo, for once, you were tolerable and kinda a little tasty. rice and water. sake, you were not a perpetrator that evening. thank you. dance it off and have fun. hear the beat, shake the hips. gin & tonic, not dressed to impress, but merely have a good time. something new. HA.
he got to be a boy. what does that mean? i got jealous. a little. cross the street and go with impulse. time to get into a taxi and head to the one room apartment in brentwood.
visibly, i was a good, i am a good catholic girl, athena by association, meet the stags of claremont. flashback to, whattt? flashback to, hahaha? flashback to, awesome. flashback to, i do what i want. flashback to what would gina do? flashback to, hmm. sleep to dream, and be among the good that actually uniquely exists out there.
still, there's so much more. nothing is as confusing as the uncertainty and the doubt, and the nervousness, and the anxiety, as the readiness and the willingness, as the excitedness and the hesitancy. no. not relationships. everything. in general. e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. boldness, it comes at the best times. no, nothing is serious. but everything CAN be shared with boldness. i'm 22 years old. thank goodness for that. i get by with the help of my friends. don't let the f bomb get the best of you - slow your roll. be serious. be real. know what you want - hopefully get what you want, but get what He wants. that's what it comes down to. despite it all, big ups to the receiving 90 and giving 10.
and just like that, i found myself at the studio tonight. time to detox - my body, my mind, and refresh myself once again. it's been way too long. it's all too fast. no time to rest. it's a big weekend coming up. every moment is an opportunity. i learned that i don't like beer, i don't like when intentions are poor. i do like people who respect, and people who can be honest. i don't so much enjoy high school games, but i do enjoy effort, and, playing with the big guys, and doing what i want, and being able to do what i want. and for what is coming up next.
who would have thought.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
she's out. i'm in bed. i'd rather be her.
she expressed her need to go out...and just like that, she made it happen. how does she do it? i have no idea. but it's been 2 hours since it started, so i'm assuming it's a home run...and that it's not just his "great personality."
i want stories.
i'm a little nervous for tomorrow night. it's been way too long & i'm afraid that i've forgotten how to schmooze and shake. maybe the unexpected will happen to take my mind away for a while...or maybe (i'm betting my money on this one) i'll end up admitting to myself that i'm addicted & i can't get out of it. either way, genia is waiting to come out and make her entrance.
this has got to be the longest week EVER. i dont wanna drop like the other flies...but i'm about to attempt suicide by coupons. the pain. make it stop.
i want stories.
i'm a little nervous for tomorrow night. it's been way too long & i'm afraid that i've forgotten how to schmooze and shake. maybe the unexpected will happen to take my mind away for a while...or maybe (i'm betting my money on this one) i'll end up admitting to myself that i'm addicted & i can't get out of it. either way, genia is waiting to come out and make her entrance.
this has got to be the longest week EVER. i dont wanna drop like the other flies...but i'm about to attempt suicide by coupons. the pain. make it stop.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
i'm lame
so how have you been? it's been so long.
umm...i've been ok on average...i think.
i've crashed more times these past few weeks than i have in the last year. but when i think back, i can't remember what exactly made me break down, which made me realize...i'm beginning to get upset and depressed over the mosts trivial things in life. the fact that i can't sit here and explain to you what bothered me confirms just that. grow up, gina. i would hate to be my friend at times. i'm not taking them for granted judging by the way they handle all the ish i have to dish out to them. again, gina? when is it going to stop? but they're still here...to listen...to counsel...to build me up...and to still love me...despite all the flaws. so thank you. friends are great, but MY friends are better :)
another weekend passed, and now monday is breathing down my neck. i hate that. but with trips (semi)planned, visitors scheduled, and a much anticipated move along the way, getting through the week will be a little bit easier.
excuse me, but i haven't been feeling like myself lately. i'm not sure who or what to blame. i've narrowed it down to 2 suspects. me vs. frumovitz. i hope i lose.
after a much needed time for two, they stepped outside into the chilly air and voila. it happened.
umm...i've been ok on average...i think.
i've crashed more times these past few weeks than i have in the last year. but when i think back, i can't remember what exactly made me break down, which made me realize...i'm beginning to get upset and depressed over the mosts trivial things in life. the fact that i can't sit here and explain to you what bothered me confirms just that. grow up, gina. i would hate to be my friend at times. i'm not taking them for granted judging by the way they handle all the ish i have to dish out to them. again, gina? when is it going to stop? but they're still here...to listen...to counsel...to build me up...and to still love me...despite all the flaws. so thank you. friends are great, but MY friends are better :)
another weekend passed, and now monday is breathing down my neck. i hate that. but with trips (semi)planned, visitors scheduled, and a much anticipated move along the way, getting through the week will be a little bit easier.
excuse me, but i haven't been feeling like myself lately. i'm not sure who or what to blame. i've narrowed it down to 2 suspects. me vs. frumovitz. i hope i lose.
after a much needed time for two, they stepped outside into the chilly air and voila. it happened.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
we are on different levels.
they parted ways and hugged a farewell hug. it was gonna be a long time away from each other.
...then realized.
WAIT, i'll see you tomorow!
and THAT, my friends, is what happened at 6:20pm.
i heart coupons for that very reason. :)
...then realized.
WAIT, i'll see you tomorow!
and THAT, my friends, is what happened at 6:20pm.
i heart coupons for that very reason. :)
Monday, May 5, 2008
walk the labyrinth.
back from san francisco. awesome time biking the 25 mile in napa valley...despite the fact that i could not partake in wine tasting, due to my unfortunate lack of a protein slash allergy to sulfate, i have learned. still, that did not prevent me from having an amazing time with my cousin, rochelle, who lives on fillmore...near fillmore and bush. fillmore.bush. HA. i thought it was funny.
after taking a sweet ass flight from LAX to san fran via virgin america, after listening to some john mayer, some paris hilton and some rihanna, took a little cabby cab cab to my cousin's hospital, then hung out in the heart of san fran. we met a garbage collector. a surfer. and an aspiring fireman person. i mean, seriously? whatev, it was all good. the brotha tried, but i said no. pat pat, on my back, right cousin? :) ...we wound up at the new DANNY's. yup, not even denny's. disgusting. but delicious trucker food at that hour of the early morning.
saturday, i took the liberty of taking a nap in the middle of the day, woke up at 3 and walked around a little more. packed up, then headed over to windsor for the timeshare. pack up the car, play with my godchild and head over to napa valley in the AM. beautiful. loved it. sooooo nice. i'm a fan. for sure.
finish the 25 with flying colors, sore legs, a smile on the face, and a full on cyclist outfit, as if i'm hardcore. i totally am. headed back to the city and walked the labyrinth. walk and figure it all out, dissect...shed...walk and follow the path. end up in the center, release, take in, and head back out into the world, and put it into practice. and i, my friend, am taking that which i experienced in that labyrinth and super excited to walk it out.
grab another drink, meet some sveden men - just like that, and eat a cheese plate, and take a risk in drinking some wine that does NOT have sulfate. JUST to see if i would break out in hives, get itchy, or swell up like a balloon...and what do you know? sparking wine, you are my hero and gosset is the name of the game. the snob drink. perfect.
bless me, i just sneezed. time to shower - already unpacked, and time to head over to my best friend's house for some rest and relaxation and some quality time in the comfort of my gpark's apt. just what a girl needs.
life gets hard. but when it does, you always have the option to get on a plane.
and...that's what i came up with.
after taking a sweet ass flight from LAX to san fran via virgin america, after listening to some john mayer, some paris hilton and some rihanna, took a little cabby cab cab to my cousin's hospital, then hung out in the heart of san fran. we met a garbage collector. a surfer. and an aspiring fireman person. i mean, seriously? whatev, it was all good. the brotha tried, but i said no. pat pat, on my back, right cousin? :) ...we wound up at the new DANNY's. yup, not even denny's. disgusting. but delicious trucker food at that hour of the early morning.
saturday, i took the liberty of taking a nap in the middle of the day, woke up at 3 and walked around a little more. packed up, then headed over to windsor for the timeshare. pack up the car, play with my godchild and head over to napa valley in the AM. beautiful. loved it. sooooo nice. i'm a fan. for sure.
finish the 25 with flying colors, sore legs, a smile on the face, and a full on cyclist outfit, as if i'm hardcore. i totally am. headed back to the city and walked the labyrinth. walk and figure it all out, dissect...shed...walk and follow the path. end up in the center, release, take in, and head back out into the world, and put it into practice. and i, my friend, am taking that which i experienced in that labyrinth and super excited to walk it out.
grab another drink, meet some sveden men - just like that, and eat a cheese plate, and take a risk in drinking some wine that does NOT have sulfate. JUST to see if i would break out in hives, get itchy, or swell up like a balloon...and what do you know? sparking wine, you are my hero and gosset is the name of the game. the snob drink. perfect.
bless me, i just sneezed. time to shower - already unpacked, and time to head over to my best friend's house for some rest and relaxation and some quality time in the comfort of my gpark's apt. just what a girl needs.
life gets hard. but when it does, you always have the option to get on a plane.
and...that's what i came up with.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
i'm ok with a 2.
she's in SF this time. i swear she's nuts.
for the first time in weeks, i don't want to shoot myself in the throat. the itchiness is gone. the headache is gone. and i can BREATHE. a huge thank you to HEB's version of dayquil. all 8 ounces of it made it back with me on the double A. turns out the sick day was legit...and the 12 hours of nonstop sleep was the cherry on top. it was fun, and i threw my diamond in the sky (cuz i felt the vibe), but it's good to be back...back at home...on my couch...in my pajamas. the sticky rice wasn't as sticky as i remembered it being...and the mango wasn't as sweet. the taxi driver said i had a pretty face for a 17 year old & i looked away to avoid the familiar buildings as he drove me through the west side. i think i've lost all loyalty to the great state and sitting outside for an early morning crepe today confirmed just that. perfect 70 degrees outside on a saturday morning drinking hot tea and watching the cars drive by...and the runners pass by...while i ate my banana/nutella crepe. i would do that every morning if i could. it was one of those moments.
i think i've grown to be a little more cynical. actually....maybe it's not being cynical but more like not having any expectations. if you don't have any expectations from friends, relationships, or job....then you cant really be disappointed. and when something great happens, you notice it and savor the moment for what it's worth. a phone call for absolutely no reason...a promotion...a trip...a thank you...it's always better when it's unexpected. the only thing i do have expectations for is myself. i expect myself to evolve, i expect myself to question things, i expect to push myself. and that's all i really need.
it's may. how did that happen?
next on the agenda: hawaii.
for the first time in weeks, i don't want to shoot myself in the throat. the itchiness is gone. the headache is gone. and i can BREATHE. a huge thank you to HEB's version of dayquil. all 8 ounces of it made it back with me on the double A. turns out the sick day was legit...and the 12 hours of nonstop sleep was the cherry on top. it was fun, and i threw my diamond in the sky (cuz i felt the vibe), but it's good to be back...back at home...on my couch...in my pajamas. the sticky rice wasn't as sticky as i remembered it being...and the mango wasn't as sweet. the taxi driver said i had a pretty face for a 17 year old & i looked away to avoid the familiar buildings as he drove me through the west side. i think i've lost all loyalty to the great state and sitting outside for an early morning crepe today confirmed just that. perfect 70 degrees outside on a saturday morning drinking hot tea and watching the cars drive by...and the runners pass by...while i ate my banana/nutella crepe. i would do that every morning if i could. it was one of those moments.
i think i've grown to be a little more cynical. actually....maybe it's not being cynical but more like not having any expectations. if you don't have any expectations from friends, relationships, or job....then you cant really be disappointed. and when something great happens, you notice it and savor the moment for what it's worth. a phone call for absolutely no reason...a promotion...a trip...a thank you...it's always better when it's unexpected. the only thing i do have expectations for is myself. i expect myself to evolve, i expect myself to question things, i expect to push myself. and that's all i really need.
it's may. how did that happen?
next on the agenda: hawaii.
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