you have a solo - take it [own it] with grace.

nothing cuter than seeing a baby dangle on one of those wrap things that his mommy was wearing cause her arms were tired of holding him. on top of that, seeing her sing in the choir. super cute. or that moment when a stranger started talking to me about the sky and what a beautiful day it was. ah! the simple pleasures in life...

the musical talent that i was surrounded by in church today brought a lot of smile to my face. music is so therapeutic and i am glad to be around so many musicians and so many talented ones at that. you know when your heart feels so genuinely happy? let's be honest. that should happen more, but it was a great feeling. sweet melodies, the keyboard, and some good drums mixed with satb harmonic situations - beautiful.

in the past couple of days, i have learned that i really don't like when i am placed in unfortunate situations. like, you know. the ones that are reminiscent of high school. but probably not even high school. ajbm never rolled in drama. hahaha. right. ok, um, db and i never had drama. haha, right. hey. we have reconciled, and now we grab drinks in new york together. totally fine. haha...moving on. //i also learned that my eyes need to stop looking and my heart needs to start moving. after a good conversation on the phone with a close friend who i travelled with on the streets of manila...i learned that i need more peggy sues. and i was about to affirm myself saying that i'm pretty cool. YEAH i am. and that namaste needs to be part of my daily vocabulary.

if the bouncer at green door can say - namaste - to calm his nerves, cause it's ooohhh so hard to turn down people and tell them that if they are touching the velvet rope, you are too close....hey, he said namaste. he took the yoga approach. i could learn something from him. and ooohhh i did.

green door. cookie cutter said it best. definitely got passed that black velvet rope. cabana? we know where to find our refuge. ease on in and talk to josh hartnett. you're not bound to lose there. hawaiian accents. lethal. let's move to hawaii. no, let's move downtown.

nothing really to expand on, except to share that joe and i adopted a family for christmas! i'm such a real person now. totally. can't you tell?

i don't think we should live each day like it's our last. i mean, i guess you can, but i think we should try our best to be happy. like, let that frown go and smile. find something to laugh about. i know i do that in my car a lot. like, randomly. i feel like many people at this point would say, "you would..." just cause they know me. or you know me. maybe. point is, rise up, laugh a little and sing while you're at it.

your smile, it brings sunshine. thanks foxplazadoorman.

cold december. time for you to melt.

and then you take time to stop, and think, and then you realize, hey, i love life. it's fun. and along with that, you realize, whoa, i'm young. "i'm freaking 22, but i feel like i know so much!" well, it's cause we do! which is pretty awesome, because that means, we can only go up from here, right? well, because "here" means having this emotion, and being in this place, this is a different indication.

happy with life today. it was a bowl of cherries. really sweet maraschino ones. the ones that i always steal from the bartender's placemat of fun treats. especially at holly's. but goodness no, no more holly's. even though los angeles is a big city, there are specific bar regular xy individuals that you would rather not want to run into again. fun place. default place.

so...i love people. but i learned that i can not be nice to everyone i meet. after talking with my sister about an unfortunate situation, it is made clear to me. crys, i know what you do. you feel bad for the dorks, with the puppy dog face, and then they get the wrong idea, and then the next thing you know, they are constantly running around you like a litter. well, now i have to clean up the poop if you will.
but i do love people and i have fun. clearly. :)

something needs to be said about the fact that everyone in los angeles pretty much knows about the so-called cliche comments of LA. everyone buys into them. yes, everyone. people come here because they are running from something in their past, or because they want to start something new, or they have to because they got a job, or because they want to join the rest of the people diagnosed with "commitment phobia." i learned that tonight. how true that could quite possibly be. yet, at the same time, let's be honest. many still have the deep yearning to be fully invested in someone, and have that in return. a mutual attraction, even better yet, dare i said it - love. as it exists. yes, i'm sure it does. of course it does! that view just gets muddled a lot of times with the smog of human attraction. yeah, it's smog. especially when you know [i know] it may not be for the best.

self awareness. it's a good thing. i think i have a lot of it, but i want more. especially here.

james morrison, as depressing as he is, homeboy speaks the truth. the last goodbye. the end of anything is so unfortunate. unless it was an end to something bad, then in that case, it's a blessing in disguise. an answer to a prayer. still, so unfortunate, and still so restricting. it's when you finally come to the terms that the pieces don't fit anymore. gross. yuck. not easy. james morrison, you are the man. sara tan, thank you for introducing me to this musical sensation that just adds to my jaded reality of relationships. but oh, how i love them! so much!

a friend continues to remind me though, that jadedness is not good. especially when that may restrict God from moving in my own life. don't worry, i'm not trying to recruit. i'll be out of here soon. let me sing a few more songs first.

...but it's all gone to waste
cause there's no one around.