and i blog after a very long day, and crazy enough, i am not exhausted or tired...a little hungry. drove home from LA last night, in the pouring rain, thinking to myself, wow, if i can drive through this, i think i'll be ok if i drive up/down to julian (in the freaking mountains) saturday morning...pray. pray harder, and think to myself, what if i really die driving on my way up there to talk about community? what if my car swerves? what if i hydroplane? this is not gonna be good...homemade soup made me feel better, calmed nerves from an amazing yoga sesh made me calm, and prayer gave me some peace. 5 hours of sleep. not bad.
5:30am...get up, take a shower, get dressed, grab a skinny latte, pump some gas and head over to julian. talk on the phone with one of my bests, and realize, WOW. what a BEAUTIFUL day. a beautiful sunset, a clear day, and an excitement was growing inside of me. it was nice to drive and be on my own...having a destination - a good one at that. geared in boots and my brown hat that i bought with my dance partner, i was ready for the cold.
the sign said, "ELEVATION: 40,000"
the drive. god-sent. it was sunny. it was beautiful. so awesome, and so blessed that i even had to wear sunglasses. not gonna lie, i think i said aloud, " oh God " 3 times throughout the entire trip, but i am in one piece, and my little infiniti did well. i believe that angels totally guided the way and God paved the road. literally. there was snow everywhere, my little screen thingy by my spedometer said, ICY 35 degrees. i got nervous. i was ok though, AND i didn't get lost. i just followed the signs to Julian.
i got welcomed with open arms by one of my most favorite and inspiring persons in my life, got hugs from the deans i was once intimidated by, and suddenly, i was surrounded by almost graduated seniors. my peers, and the weird and crazy realization that i was to talk to them about my adaptation/transition/process of surviving life after college.
and so i did. and shared wisdom about my job - thanks to emily at career services, i gave a little pitch about my job, which definitely got many interested. i know, right?
couple of months ago, he said that he would love if i came and that i would have a lot to share. i said yeah, maybe! i hope so! he said, maybe this could be healing for you as well.
healing. and it was. crazy enough - complete honesty was good. it was the first time i was truly able to verbalize where i was coming from, what i was feeling, and how my current communities have really been nourishing to me throughout the struggles of being without my bestest friends at my side. it's not so bad. sometimes it is. i talked about the blessing of meeting one of my best friends, in my workplace. THAT is a huge blessing - having the same ring, being called the bopsy twins, having her really be my first true friend from Texas...so much peace. now she just has to meet my posse. haha...yeah...um, yeah. i am so damn lucky. that was the one relationship i really expanded on, which really tells me something about where i am at.
it's a good place.
healing. it was. they were receptive, and it was very uplifting for me. healing was right.
grab some lunch with them, head back to civilization, and think to myself, wow. this was totally worth my "personal day." Personal, it was. it was what my mind, heart, and soul needed. listening to instrumental music right now is just so damn fitting for where i'm at. it's a great place. visit my megsters at work, and do a little shopping. back at home.
God is great. that is what i concluded from this day. and wow, i have come a long way. being stripped of familiarity is hard - transitioning from being a best friend in person to a best friend via the telephone, being a girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend, being a student to 8:30-6 account coordinator, being an RA to my residents to attending to no one, being a student director to singing among many in a choir...it's kinda liberating.
invade my heart, invade this broken town. you always want what you can't have, but i've got to try. no comparing, second guessing, no not this time.
it's been fun, but i've got to go. i'm a real person now. my one word is Grace.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment