step up. take it by hope and love.

and once again, i am at a loss for words. it's all in my head, which is why i think it is time for a little crystal time - time for crystal to chill out, mellow out, pray more, read more, be still, and stop running around like a crazy woman. that is a little difficult, when that is what i do best. i know what i want...oh wait, i don't. is that wrong? ultimately, i do. what direction that takes me in, i have no idea. i wanna keep doing good, i wanna keep loving, i wanna keep having an open mind and an open heart, and i wanna keep having fun. doing things that i love doing, spending time in areas of my passions, and stop living in the past, stop dwelling on what will/may happen in the future. i want peace, so much. we all do. sometimes it's just hard when there is so much pulling and pushing. the heart is a fragile thing. drive me into the sunset because i want to continue living and loving. i feel like that's what i'm doing, but something is still at a disconnect. i guess that's what makes things exciting though - and ultimately, that's what makes life, life. expect the unexpected. whatever that means...

[this is me] on monday, i remember driving to work - a little more mellow than usual, i drove into the fox plaza garage, parked my car, and just turned on the instrumental music that i am listening to right now. i needed silence and stillness. of course, there was no silence - but i hoped with the music i was listening to, that it would provide me with a calmer undertone to the abundant variances running in my mind. engine running, piano playing, explosions in the sky - so long, lonesome, crystal needed the time.

no more running away, it is what it is, and just as march is disappearing, april will disappear just like that. i want to experience it all though, because it is going to be an awesome month. clarity is good, but surprises may be scary. it only gets better from here. that's what we decided...every time. especially tonight, over some delicious raspberry mojitos.

" do not be afraid " - the theme of fear, and how we should not be afraid, is mentioned in the bible 317 times. that says something. this child is not gonna worry about a thing.