oh the perks of recruiting on the USD campus...one of the most stressful days was wednesday, but it was ended with a beautiful mass for peace...i was reminded to love the best, the most. the last time i heard that comment from father mike, was when i told him about the super sad ending to my two and a half year relationship with someone i was totally beyond head over heels in love with. i was uplifted with this comment, not so much the lack of reciprocity. the worst kind. though in a different context, it was still very much relevant. i am called to be a peacemaker and i am called to reinforce positivity onto myself. along with that, i am called to be peaceful within my heart and soul. yeah, let's try that.
first core sleepover. absolutely awesome. amazing pretty much. i was sleepy. we woke up. friends made breakfast, friends around the breakfast table - i was surrounded by 4 teachers and 1 director of youth ministry. love them. you should meet them. God given. most definitely. 'i' was the "corporate" one. i am the one who does not, as intentionally, have any direct relation or influence in being a peacemaker or conveying goodness and sanctity of life to a specific group of people. i disagree with that statement. i am a peacemaker who is in the business world, in the secular world - one who is finding out what happens when you leave the catholic landscape. i am in constant communication with people each day and i love it. there is goodness there. challenging, but it makes for a great reflection entry at the end of every night. clearly, it is a daily moral dilemma in my mind that continues to strengthen me as soon as i open my microsoft outlook inbox.
driving home [4 hours] only to find that rehearsal was cancelled, was not so bad. i got a lot of thinking done. a lot of reflection. a lot of contemplation and a lot of moments which made me think, no, crystal. don't frown, smile. and so i would - i did. the cars next to me were jealous. i could see it in their faces.
the interesting thing about working in business is that it is very much glamourized, and it is unfortunately supported by things such as materialism, consumerism, vanity, and the like. what gets lost in this shuffle, are the individuals who are working in such a business [ yes there is such thing as good people in business ] . they [i] are [am] reduced to those same things. is it possible to really shun away that which is not life giving in this career? that, my friend, is where the challenge lies, and that is where self-awareness and consistency in "good person aka [insert whatever word you want here ] " action must take place. not that i need to prove it to anyone, but i do still have a heart for my brothers and sisters around the world. i do still have a faith and choose to live it. i am not defined by my career.
moving on. [literally]
shine on.
don't force things, just let it flow, let it go, start over, refresh the moment, stand next to what you want, breathe, smile, and walk. [ don't waste another person's time along the way. or yours. you're better than that. ] His timing is perfection.
just gotta dance it off. or people watch. LD. it's now or never gpark. see you at 10.
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