in the midst of silence & solitude, the realizations slowly begin to creep up. analyzing myself...who i am and what i believe...steps up to the next level. it's a much needed time...a scary time. nothing makes my flaws more noticeable than allowing my mind to wander. maybe that's why i have a difficult time being alone...in fear of discovering something ugly & unwanted. a new thought mounts on the previous, and it rapidly gets out of control. all of a sudden, the person i thought i was gets shaken up & i begin to grasp a new image of myself only to find out later that she's not it either. in stillness, my mind takes over. a good thing for evolving, a bad thing for the present mood.
my heart sank today for a brief moment. but that's the effect this has on me. just thought you should know.
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