...and i've gotta get out of here.

off one plane and onto another. forget about one thing, and move on to something of more importance. let go of the past and look to the future. keep smiling and know that it will all be all over soon.

i don't have the energy nor the memory, nor the desire to write about each day that i have been gone. so here goes what is the current situation right now. get ready, as it is a headache, some tears, anxiety, heartache, and a misfit of many other words.

i love new york city and i love brooklyn. i didn't enjoy lugging my luggage from one subway to the next, i didn't like when my luggage got caught in the exit, and i didn't like how simultaneously, my leg was lifted as it was also stuck on the exit bar. disastrous. especially to me. i did, like, however, that dunkin donuts was delicious on a gorgeous morning in park slope, and that a week ago, JD and i were getting ready to head over to pianos, only to find three crazy kids and some free drinks waiting for us.

i love amanda, i love carmen, i love katie, i love that my company brings people together. some good people. for sure. :) i love that training happened, but love that it is now over.

gpark and i boarded our plane this morning at 7:15am. we got home at 3am, and got picked up at 5:45am. after some lies, made of random words that were put together in pursuit to NOT check in our luggage, we boarded the plane, failed at the success rate of the lies, and sat in our seats. we fell asleep before we even took off. get us home. that was our motto. los angeles was never awaited for so much as that moment and this moment. there is just way too much going on.

the "much" that is going on, consists of my family situation and the emergency ticket that i purchased yesterday while in new york, for a plane ticket to the philippines on the 15th. it's what happens when your grandma is very ill. sister flew there yesterday, mother and uncles/aunts flew there two weeks ago, my cousins and i flying out tuesday night, more cousins flying out wednesday night. there will not be any reyes kind in the US for the next two weeks. we will all be in the motherland.

i love it, but i don't like that i am not at all mentally prepared for what i am about to experience in the philippines. the past two/three years that i have been to the philippines, i have been able to mentally prepare for at least a couple of months. this time, i have a couple of days. it is a reality, and i am already tired thinking about it. it is full of nervousness and anxiety. it is a place where i know God must enter, because otherwise, i am going to crack.

i thought a week away in NYC was good, but i guess another two weeks out of california is what i need. at least that's what it has felt like, and that is what it has turned out to be. i got out of a potentially harmful to self situation, i got out of some other engagements - how unfortunate, but all of my responsibilities for the next two weeks have flown out the window. no time to think about commitments i had made prior, can't think about work, can't think about the stupidness of situations with the xx chromosomes, it's time for me to board my plane. it's waiting, and so is my family.