you'll be my american boy

these last few days have been a blurrrr...

5 days, 3 nights out, 1.5 dates, 2 leases, 1 box of dye, and 113 new realizations...ready?

the change to my head was a little too drastic for my taste. my disgust at tila tequila made me want to stray far from the asian trash look...so there i was at ralph's for the second time in 24 hours. oatmeal and loreal. that seems to be all i need. this is much more like me. different, but still me. as i waited for the 25 minutes to pass, i began to worry that i'm running out of ways to start over. the only thing left would be to pack up my life (CC included) and move away...again. but it's too early for that. i think.



so the real story begins in hollywood...but when does it ever not start in hollywood?
shake some hands and throw some names. we opted out of the fireworks & hit the dance floor. dropped off the girlfriends and driving back home down a dark and abandoned Wilshire. windows down & enjoying the breeze. and then a car drives along...passenger looks over...brake lights...

"excuse me...where are you coming from? what's your name? can i please take you out for lunch tomorrow?"
my response: "?!?!?!?!"
who gets asked out while driving 40mph down wilshire? he found me before i had time to make it home...and i'm not going to lie...i was impressed.
"my god you're persistent."
his response: "i try to be spontaneous bc you just never know."
he hooked me in that moment...

the long lost fire pit session is therapy for the soul. strangers listen and chime in once in a while, but we don't mind. she witnessed it and stopped breathing for a couple seconds.

i've said all i can say. my words are clear. my actions are even clearer. and as much as i feel like i'm helping the situation and seeing progress, i'm afraid it won't budge. he won't jump. standing so close to the edge...but he just won't do it. but why even stand there? why do you keep standing there? jump with me...or climb back down. white or black. left or right. you know what i'm going to do...i'm just waiting for you to catch up to me. "you're an idiot." but wait...what does that say about me? "i'm crazy."

monday wouldnt be a monday without chips and salsa...and a rooftop bar. dancing the night away surrounded by water beds and guys with red cut off shirts. 11:00...12:00...1:00...crap. sick day tomorrow? nope. just glasses. and that's how our week began.

life is better when you know where you wanna go...

and believe me, we're going...