i'm still here.

after a long awaited fire pit sesh, we sat, we updated, and we are once again caught up on the 72 hours of events which we missed out on in each others lives. i love it, absolutely.

we are doing good. she's doing great, and i'm learning to do better. we were able to verbalize our realizations...and analyze the trajectories, and the unfortunateness of it all, and how love, may just not be enough...the sad, sad realization.

is there a difference with being naive and hoping that the person in question is a good person? how do you know when you are just supposed to give up - in other words, when you give give give, and receive nothing in return? how much are you supposed to take until you finally give up? if i deserve the best, if i only deserve what is good, how the hell do i get caught up with everything but? ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, but seriously. gp says i just stir things up. i think she's kinda a little bit right. but really, i guess i don't need to do otherwise. but i should. sooo i guess this is what happens when no one has tabs on me.

all i know is that i need to go back. i need to reassess a little bit more - accept that which i am presented with - let my yes be yes and my no be no - respect others a little more - give all that i want to give - look to Him for answers, instead of the temptation of the easy way out...or in - and be comfortable in my own skin once again. ...well, at least i can check one thing off the list.

it's tough being human. how do you sleep at night?

the chains are gone. amazing grace. it shall prevail.