it is one of those nights where you start to write, and then you read what you write, and you think to yourself, what the heck? no. unnecessary. erase it. put it in a post-it and erase it all. useless anxiety and not worth the finger effort. a trip to Vegas was eagerly anticipated. It came, we conquered, and we survived our Monday back in the office. It’s good to be a girl – but oh so dangerous sometimes too. Gina, I’m sorry I waved. :) run, run, RUN!!!! I’m ready for Puerto.
snip it, snip it, I decided that I’m going to make better decisions. i’m gonna move on, I’m not looking back, and I’m going to allow the show to go on with no regrets. that probably means not answering the phone either. Hmph. there’s a reason for everything. so that’s what they say. it happened, and well, I’ve learned that at the end of the day, when you sleep, what you are left with, is you. no matter who you end up with at 1am in the morning, at 2am, it is you. At 7am, it is still you. and your mom asking you how your night went last night. And your response. And your flashback to the night prior. and the updates at the coffee bar. and updating your bestie in new york.
Ssending time with my good friend was what I needed tonight. To spend time. With a good person. A reminder that quality people do exist – beyond geographical convenience, he brings it all back into perspective. Thank you, thank you, thank you. he knew I was distracted and reminded me of the goodness that is in me. to be satisfied. Who would have thought. but I don’t think I’ve forgotten.
gchat mentioned, “in love.” Immediately I vomited in my mouth a little bit. Immediately. what is that? What has happened to me, that in that instance, it was an on button of, NO, that does not exist – no. that is no true. No I do not believe it. It’s not being jaded, but it is me being caught up in the reality of truth. what do I know? but I suppose it is possible. still, gp and I were on the same wavelength. she vomited too, just not at the same time. multiple times.
It’s time for a change. 5:30pm, Thursday. we’re ready. it’s time to ignite some new fireworks. And ignore the parish-wide assumption that my friend and I are dating just because we sit together at church…every so often. Usually. Ha. just accept it. and for once, I don’t mind – I’d rather take that than take a risk in a fish bowl.
Take me out of the fish bowl and bring me to the stairs tomorrow night. and just. like. that. workout, hangout and not worry about a damn thing. boys and girls can be friends. that should really start being implemented in society.
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