what the bloody hell. that has become the phrase and theme for the past couple of weeks, i feel. working 13 hours, for the sake of bras, teddy bears, and acupuncture/magnetic products. i have become a workaholic. it's true. and it's a problem...definitely not in line with catholic social teaching - coming into work at 6:30am and leaving work at 7pm...yeah...maybe that's not the best. but, i'm slowly learning.
with a flight to new york booked - meet my telephone/instant message lover - yeah, i said it, get off the plane, only to wake up 3 hours later and take a plane to puerto vallarta, i'm pretty much set. it's a vacation that i very much need.
move into the new house in less than 7 days, and eat it up. make a bad decision, but rise up again. how do you feel this morning? absolutely fine. that's a problem....hmmm, i definitely need to get myself straight again. i need a good scolding of some sort. the excuse, you're young, do what you want...is trouble. no time for trouble. i laugh at myself a little bit. a retreat. that's what i need!
what is it? insecurity? unsatisfaction? what makes me genuinely happy? i guess i don't have time for that stuff... i don't have time. i can't worry about it. it's so far from where i'm at. but really, i don't have time. i tell myself that, because it IS the truth, and it makes so much sense. and until then, i need to just stop. stop dabbling. just stop. hahaha. horrible i am. :)
and then i woke up, and it was august, and i realized. wow. it's august. and then it's gonna be september, and then it's gonna be my birthday month. flashback to last year. kiss everyone in the car that night? she tells that story every time. HAHA. that is all i got.
some people say that LA is evil, some - one person says that LA has made me a bad person - maybe in not the exact words, but pretty much. i say, it's really not all that bad. in some ways, it's kinda fun. and exciting. but trouble, oh, such trouble.
hahaha. i'm done. :)
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