and i was reminded that the last time i had posted was on the 7th. shoot, more than a week has passed, and quite much has happened. we all know that, well maybe you don't. especially if you haven't talked to me very often. let's see...
every now and then i would sit in my cube, and think, what am i doing? how is what i am doing really affecting others around me? how about those whom i have a passion for across the world? it is more than possible that it has no effect. but i'm ok with that...for now. gp hates the idea of me possibly moving to somewhere far, very far - but the way things are looking - they seem to be working in her favor. there's too much waiting for me in the city of angels.
it has been almost a year since i have been here and i realize wow, i have come quite a far way. being at church tonight, i realized how many people i have come to grow and love. to think about the mistakes that were made, to think about the drama that ensued, to think about the friendships that were built - i love it. it makes me smile when i think about it. it has become my home and i welcome anyone into it. :)
don't spend time with anyone that is not your boyfriend. especially when they have a girlfriend. just some advice you should really hold onto. don't learn the hard way.
too much happened within a mere week - realizing that i still had potential - that i am somewhat, even moreso, desirable - don't give up, don't lose hope. crystal. really? heck yes! no, maybe not the best decision, but sushi and some drinks at south made me do it. and it was excellent. :) after 4 text messages sent out through 2:30am and after some follow-up calls at 6:50am, i had stories to share. just as i had, well, not so much anticipated. and yet, i've only just begun. put the catholic guilt away. i know what i'm doing.
you try hard to get what you want. you try pursuing, but sometimes, just sometimes it's really the end, and you can no longer put yourself out there. and so i'm done. we've been talking a lot about resentment lately at church. i wonder if it's a sign. resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. it only does something to you - something not good or healthy for becoming a better person. prayer. that's the answer - that's all i've got.
she's pretty much a big favorite of mine. except she's super small. we have a lot of fun together, and this city is much more lively and much more brighter because of her. it's almost our anniversary. i'm so excited! she got called a drunk lesbian and of course i'm looped into that. i guess that's what happens when facebook tells all. i guess that's what happens when assumptions are made. they're awesome :)
it's not over yet - it never is...i believe we are only just beginning. it feels like tonight, and we're laying by the pool tomorrow. just breathe...and detox. we deserve it.
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