honesty. how about that...ready? go.

foreshadowing of becoming a nun...i don't like when i get three individual moments - independent moments where that has been brought up - sure, ali always says that we have to be open to it...and i think i am...maybe - though i think i might get kicked out - but really - it always has to be a possibility. crazy.

i smiled a bunch when i helped run a bake sale today...i saw the cutest kids - i played with the cutest kids - i got a sweet tour of the rectory - i got to hang out with super fun people...all on 4 hours of sleep. sure that was my fault - definitely not complaining, but nonetheless, i am tired. i spent a total of 18 hours at my church this weekend...there was a lot goin on - so what'd you do this weekend? i had church stuff...and that usually ends it...no one really cares to find out the intricacies of it all. i don't mind. this weekend spent at church really sealed the deal. it's finally truly become my parish at heart - i'm as active as i was back in college, but now it's different. my college friends have no idea what the heck i am doing at my parish now, and it's like had i not taken that leap of faith to get involved and do what i loved doing...ministry...who knows where i would be? i love that i have moved on from san diego.

i lit a candle. i dont know why...but it makes my room smell good, and because i am sleepy - i feel like it'll set the ambiance.

i hung out with my brother, ryan last night. we went to the woods. we went to in-n-out. we ended up in westwood. then on wilshire somewhere. what. the. heck. sleepy time. had to get up 4 hours later...i come home to my halloween costume scattered all over my floor - all my fault, and a ready made bed. yipppeeeee!

the kicker was what i discovered on the upper most top shelf of my closet, about an hour ago. and THAT is why he is my brother and best friend. he knows what is good for me and that i deserve better. if not in the trash, definitely far from my straight vision.

i am tired. straight up tired. my mind is tired - i am tired of thinking...i need to stop being angry - i need to let it go. i hate when the ball is no longer in my court, but that is usually how it goes. i love cutting ties when necessary, i love when those ties are connected again. i'm a happy kid and that's what i've come up with. my boldness gets me into trouble sometimes. i need to stop eating french fries for meals. i need to drink more water. i need to do more yoga. i need to do what i love doing. i need to get back to the basics of life. i've deviated a bit and it's making me lose a little bit of the enjoyment of life. who am i kidding - i pretty much have fun everywhere i go, but still. gotta get back in it.

time for another week. gotta be optimistic, gotta enjoy and gotta put my costume together. leaves. apple. a snake. gotta get it together. :) cheers!! look me in the eye when you say it.